Dear you

Why have I been drawn to you the way I have?I mean, you are no one special. Then why is it that my heart refuses to co operate when you are around.I very well know that sooner or later, you'll mean nothing to me because that's how it has been all along. i like someone who does not like me back and then after a month of obsession, I give up on him. Well, listen to me. Yes, you jerk! Don't you know it by now? I have been mesmerized by you and your entire self since the moment we set eyes on each other. Your carefree mannerisms, the way your ruffled hair moves in the wind, they way you look at me with eyes that seem to cry. I do not think I would ever tell you but I haven't seen a nose as ghastly looking as yours. Yes, never. It is so weird that I look at you again and again just to assure myself of the marvel of imperfection that you are. Honestly, however, your nose is what I like the most. And the way you walk! ah! Your swagger is just so arrogant and rude that it makes me sick. but weird as I am, I so want to walk beside you even when I know we will be seen as the strangest couple. And of course, the way you look at me, I am not something to eat for crying out loud! Although I love it when my heart skips a beat when you gaze at me clumsily and ever so silently. do not be this cruel to me. You don't know it but I am too frail for the world.Do not let me become the slave of your imperfection. you don't know but I have never wanted anyone before the way I want you.

Don't think of me as shallow but you are like the pair of thigh-high leather boots I had always wanted. You don't know but when you're around I feel the presence of an invisible bubble of warmth encapsulating the both of us. You don't know but I know nothing about you. I want to know you. Like the way no one has ever known you before. I want you to know me. like the way no one has ever known me before.Strange? Yes. Naive? No. Well, yes. On some level. I am naive. Impressionable. Submissive. All the things you aren't. I know right now we are not less than 45 metres away from each other and unfortunately, we do not have glass walls in our classroom but I can see you in my head. I can feel you jotting down answers to the test paper you've been given. And I can't help but wonder if you're thinking about me too. I know you aren't. But there is that little hope that you might just be doing so. If you ever get to read all this, you would think of me as childish. I am. Happily. You're like that one hundredth comic in my collection. You are like the 250th exotic dried leaf that I want to include in my scrap book. Yes, that's how much I want you.

It's 8:24 pm and my little brother is laughing like a spastic hyena while watching some stupid cartoon show. when I was 7 I used to watch every cartoon serial from "Courage the cowardly dog" to "Adam's Family". But now... ugh! Cartoon show means some Japanese shit dubbed in Hindi. I am getting bored, obviously which is why I have sat down to write something... anything, really!

So there's this comment I read on my friend's wall which goes like this:

yeah love is hyped no doubt, but it does have a power, something which inspires you, inspires you to do well and gives you reasons for doing things. only moral values and love are the real inspirations in life.

And it reminded of something I said to the man I love a year and a half ago. September 21, 2008, to be precise; my fifteenth birthday. I still remember how hard I was struggling to keep my feet in contact with the crude and closer-to-reality ground. I had begun defying gravity... and flying high! Reason being the one I had been "lusting" after ... No, the one I had been literally stalking for a year had finally confessed his feelings for me. But that is not what this note would be about, by all means. :P

I remember feeling nervous and euphoric at the same time. Words failed me then but I managed to get something worthwhile out of my mouth. And when I saw that glint in his eyes to which my stomach did a somersault in the moonlit night... words started flowing out of their own accord.

"Love is growth, you see? It's not about staggering changes, transformations. It's about evolving. It's about seeing things in a different light altogether... when in love the world seems not better but clearer. one doesn't forget rationale. New questions... but with answers this time. Brings out the best in you. Inspires you, motivates you, doesn't let you get stuck... makes you strive for the things that actually makes life worthwhile. Don't die for the one you love... they are worth living for! Now that I'm in love with you... It's not like I have forgotten the world around me or gotten cataract... for some queer reason i am more connected to the world than i ever was. The destination doesn't intrigue me anymore... I am just glad to acknowledge that I would be getting there with you. Just hold my hand for a while and I believe you can very well feel the love flowing in the dissolved form in my blood... and I think if we're really quiet you can hear the soft music of our souls connecting."